True Cost of a Bereavement Doula?
Clients and doula certification organizations alike, refer to grief and loss doulas as “invaluable.” I am here to invalidate the belief that this work should be done without compensation.
Bereavement doulas provide individualized support to families who are experiencing a loss. They provide an intricate understanding of how grief effects people, throughout every stage of loss. For early term losses, that can mean attending doctor visits, with clients, for medical confirmation of their loss. For late term losses, it can mean attending the birth of the baby and helping the family memorialize the child’s life. Bereavement doulas possess the ability to provide the support necessary for each client’s individual needs.
When I tell people that I support perinatal loss mothers for a living, the most common thing I hear is: “That is so hard. I could never do that.” I am sure that is true of many people. However, I find fulfillment in my work. When I sit on the sofa next to one of my clients while they decompress and share their sadness, I know that I am where I belong. I do not find joy in their sadness. Yet, I am happy because I feel privileged to walk down the path of incalculable sorrow with them. Often times, family members and spouses become overwhelmed by their loved one’s grief. They are coping with their own feelings of loss and sadness, while simultaneously trying to comfort the mother. It is a very tender, stressful situation. I share in their sorrow. I am the shoulder to cry on. I am the holder of space. I offer a piece of myself to each and every one of my clients.
This is by no means easy work; but it is good work. I have chosen to make a living by supporting people through difficult times. I have spent an extensive amount of time and money building my business. I have paid for many books and have had extensive training in how to support families through perinatal loss. I am continually studying and researching ways that I can better attend my clients. I am dedicated because I care about my work. I offer the best to my clients and, and in turn I charge a living wage for myself. I can continue to serve women and families in my area because I am well compensated for my time.
Many people who have entered my field, leave in a matter of months. I believe this is because the rate of burn out is very high among doulas, especially those of us who support bereavement clients. But many doulas believe that offering free bereavement services will help them build their doula business while serving clients who are in need of their invaluable services. But, by definition, invaluable means: valuable beyond estimation : priceless. Very simply put, a service cannot be both invaluable and free. Offering free services is not a sustainable business model. If a doula leaves her/his home to support a client, they are paying for gas, childcare, food, time off of work, and time away from their loved ones. Essentially they are paying to attend to their clients and getting nothing in return. One can only give so much of one’s self without proper recompense. In my opinion, It is wrong to expect a stranger to offer professional support for no compensation.
What does a Bereavement Doula Cost?
Many skilled professionals abandon their dream of supporting loss clients because they are not receiving adequate compensation for the work they do. So the true cost of a bereavement doula, is the doula themselves. Unfortunately many clients who want support are left unserved because of the shortage of bereavement professionals.
Doctors, nurses, and counselors are all considered essential players in a medical team. All of those professionals are paid for every client they attend, even their perinatal loss clients. Doulas, although a beneficial asset to a support team, are not essential members. Therefore their services should be appreciated, and well compensated.
Contact an Oklahoma Bereavement Doula Now!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Brittany started her journey of helping women in 2012, as a pregnancy consultant. She was certified as a Birth and Bereavement Doula through Stillbirthday in 2015 and gained certification as a Gena Kirby Rebozo Doula later that year. She is the Birth Doula for modern women. She is intuitive and open-minded; she is attentive and ready to support everyone. Brittany received over 800 hours of advanced training in the practice of massage therapy in her quest as a healer, and is continually researching and attending training in the art of holistic health and wellness. She volunteers with the Oklahoma Birth Trauma Support Group for mothers and families who have experienced birth trauma and pregnancy loss. She lives in Oklahoma City with her husband and four children.
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