Why Are Partners At Birth Important? Why Dads Matter!
Partners are the missing piece in the modern day birth culture equation. Gone are the days of the nervous fathers pacing the waiting room of the maternity ward with a cigar in their mouth. Partners weren’t always “allowed” to be with the birthing women during labor. This is a relatively new win for maternity care! Because of this, our culture is still trying to catch up. We need to work together to create a “New Normal!” One where partners are allowed to be loving, supportive, and both physically and emotionally present in the labor room.
Expectations of a Partner at Birth
To understand HOW to be present, partners must understand what
exactly is expected of them during labor.
Physical Support/ Comfort Measures
Partners will need to keep the laboring woman comfortable! It is a wonderful idea to go to a childbirth education class to learn about specific comfort measures that will work with your situation and birth plans. At Beautifully Connected we value the ancient technology of the rebozo (re-bo-so.) Learning to use the rebozo for labor support is an invaluable tool that will bring you and your partner closer together. If you are looking for an excellent book about labor support, we recommend Father’s at Birth.
Emotional and Informational Support
It is a partner’s job to provide emotional support throughout the labor and birth process. Offer mom sips of water, remind her to use the restroom and to snack. Encourage her if she feels like giving up. Be a calm rock of support for her.
It’s also a good idea to understand the process of labor so you know what to expect. Gathering information about possible complications or interventions is also wise!
There is a lot of information to sift through online. Hire a doula to help you sort through the information and come up with a plan!
What happens when things don’t go according to plan?
Birth is raw and unpredictable, and very rarely does everything go according to plan. If a complication arises the medical staff is occupied with trying to keep mom and baby safe. They completely neglect the needs of the partner.
Things can move very quickly, and the partner can feel completely left in the dark. Knowledge is power in these circumstances! A doula will understand any possible complications or neccessary medical procedures, and will be able to relay that information to you. You will feel emotionally supported and strong with the understanding of what is happening.
Birth Support is NOT for the Faint of Heart
Trust us, we do this for a living!
Advice from the Experts:
- Take breaks.
- Eat when you need to.
- Use the restroom often.
- Remember to stretch.
- Stay comfortable and change positions.
- Hire a doula to support you both so your laboring partner is never alone.
Support for Partners: Dads and Doulas
Doulas knows about birth, complications, and interventions. At a doula attended birth, you won’t feel the pressure to know everything. If you have any questions you can refer to your walking, talking birth google for support!
Additionally, your doula will act as a source of unlimited information about comfort measures and position changes for laboring and pushing.
Both of you will have continual support! Sometimes it is neccessary for you to take a break! Mom will never be alone, if you need to use the restroom or grab a drink! If baby needs to be taken to NICU or if mom has to have cesarean birth you can go with the baby while the doula stays with mom in recovery!
Doula support is beneficial for moms and partners! Dads and doulas make and awesome team!
ABOUT T
HE AUTHOR:
Brittany Chavez is the owner of Beautifully Connected. She is a passionate and business minded woman on a journey to support pregnant women and their families. She has the knowledge and determination to make sure all of your wellness needs are met. She has worked as a massage therapist and pregnancy consultant, and has helped over 500 clients in the Oklahoma City Metro Area. She volunteers with the Oklahoma Birth Trauma Support Group for mothers and families who have experienced birth trauma and pregnancy loss. She lives in Oklahoma City with her husband and four children.
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2 Comments on “Expecting? Read This Now! Dads at Birth”
I agree that dads are a great emotional and physical support during labor and birth. I learned in Birth for Men that preparation for that happens way before the big day. Lifestyle changes (including food choices and good sleeping habit) for the mother plays a big role in eliminating risks. Birth is like preparing for a marathon. I am glad to be on the same page with my wife when it comes to preparing for labor and birth.
Feel free to reach out if you find that you are needing some additional support! ☺️
You sound like you are really taking time to prepare, be educated, and research. You guys will do great!